For years, I have struggled with guilt issues. I always thought it was something I was struggling with by myself- that no one else constantly felt guilty for speaking up or for doing what was right.
Now, if you’ve never felt this, you probably wonder why would someone feel guilty for doing what’s right? Well, I don’t have the exact answer to that, but I do know that many women feel the same way.
Earlier, as my husband was making dinner and I sat in my comfy chair working on boutique stuff, I apologized to him. He wanted to know what I was apologizing for and I explained that I wasn’t being lazy; I just really needed to work on boutique stuff while he cooked dinner alone. He seemed to think I was crazy and told me he knew I wasn’t being lazy. It made me think about how often we, as women, apologize for things that we shouldn’t be sorry for.
I can’t count how many times I’ve started a sentence with “I’m sorry, but”. Why do we feel the need to constantly apologize for being ourselves? Why do we feel the need to apologize for texting a friend to check in on them? Why do we feel the need to apologize for offering our opinion during a meeting?
I think a lot of it goes back to one or two (or maybe more) experiences, where someone who was maybe not the nicest person, was rude to us for doing something or being who we are meant to be. Have you ever had someone say something that just immediately made you feel like your voice doesn’t matter or that you did/said something wrong? I know I have.
We are strong women! I’m not saying that apologies shouldn’t happen. We should apologize when we are rude or when we do something we truly shouldn’t. We should apologize if we hurt someone or if we snap at another person. If we literally bump into someone in the store, apologize. But for crying out loud, let’s stop apologizing for every thing we say and do!
I know- there’s a book that many of us read that tells us the same thing. But even after reading that amazing book, I still apologize for things I shouldn’t. I still feel guilt for things I shouldn’t!
Next time you start to apologize, stop and think about why you feel guilty and why you feel the need to apologize. Is it a habit or did you actually cause someone emotional or physical harm?
Once we train ourselves to stop feeling guilty and to stop apologizing for every little thing we say/do, our lives will become much happier- I’m sure of it!